I'm more smitten then ever...you know it's trouble when you get messages like this...
"Did I mention how smitten with you I am recently? Like really really smitten? Hey and I'm not sure if I mentioned it but you do know I think you're very beautiful, don't you? And soooo many stories - I just want to hear everything about you - good / bad / funny / sad etc....And damn that would be perfect, I have an overwhelming desire to sit and listen / watch you talk for hours, rain falling outside, wine, music finding all the stuff we have in common, places we've been, stuff that's totally different and hearing all about it..."
As I sit here smiling to myself I also realize that I am so incredibly scared. I already feel that slight bit of pain at imagining that he'll just stop speaking to me tomorrow...that I'll be left with this tiny tear in my heart that will only keep growing. I want to fall in love, I do...but until today I didn't realize how afraid I am of really really letting someone in...because what if once they're in, they want out?
I began to admit my fear to Alex yesterday and in her usual wise way said "You can't go through life holding people at arms length, sometimes you just have to be able to let go and see what happens."
So here's to letting go of fear and allowing my heart to feel whatever is about to come.
No comments:
Post a Comment